Preference for One Parent

It is very usual for toddlers to exhibit preference for one parent over the other. They usually become attached to the parent who spends more time taking care of them. This is often bound tomake the other parent feel left out. This is commonly seen when one spouse is a full-time parent. Usually, toddlers get more attached to their mothers rather than their fathers. However, the reverse case also holds true in some cases.

Tips to get your toddler attached to both parents

• Share the responsibility of parenting alike - both the joyous and tiresome ones. Maintain a team spirit.
• If you as a full-time mother are responsible for taking care of your toddler during the busy week days, ask the father to take over during the week ends.
• Just as no two humans are alike, both parents can have two different styles of parenting. Learn to appreciate the other parent's style.
• If you disagree with your partner on any particular aspect of bringing up your toddler, do not discuss it in front of him. If the toddler feels that you do not trust your partner's parenting policy, he may not trust that parent either. Toddlers usually prefer to follow the parent that they are more attached to.
• Appreciate your partner's efforts in winning over your toddler and let him or her know about it.
• Encourage the detached parent to spend some time with the baby everyday even if he has had a long day at work. Play with him for at least half an hour and watch his activities. This can help your toddler understand the concept of unconditional love.
• Sometimes the saying "Familiarity breeds contempt" holds good. If your toddler is seeing one parent after a long time, he may get excited when that parent is around. So, it is advisable for both parents to spend equal time with the toddler as much as possible.
• If your partner is always cheerful and you sport an irritated expression on your face, your toddler will naturally show a preference to the cheerful parent. So remember to always remain cheerful in front of your toddler and enjoy his company.
• The left out partner can be allowed to spend some time alone with the toddler. For example, the toddler's dad can take him out to the park leaving the mother and the other elder siblings at home. You can think of ways to make the trip fun for your toddler.
• Set up a routine for the toddler under the detached parent's care and stick to it. Do not give into your toddler's tantrums asking for you to help him. Instead, assure him that he would be just as fine with the other parent.
• Be patient with your toddler and do not take things to heart when your toddler refuses to acknowledge you.

Just because your toddler prefers one parent, it does not mean that he does not love the other. He needs both of you for safe and healthy growth. Make it clear to him that both of you love him equally.