Children and Lying

Children are capable of lying as three years. It can turn out to be a rude shock to the parents to find their little children lying to them as early as three years of age.

Reasons for Children Lying

Children resort to lying for a number of reasons. Some reasons why your child may be lying are:

• Her memory is so short that by the time you ask her about the action, she has forgotten that she committed it.
• She is not able to differentiate between reality and fantasy.
• She is trying to seek your attention.
• She does not want to disappoint you.
• She enjoys imitating adult behaviour.
• She likes to feel good in front of you. Refusing to accept something that she has done makes her feel that she will not have to face any consequences.
• Her feelings may have been hurt.

You must instill the virtues of being honest in your child right from an early age. Although she may not understand its importance, continuous guidance will help in making her an honest and trustworthy person in her later years.

Tips to Help Children Stop Lying

There are several simple measures that you can adopt to stop children from lying to you. Some ways to stop lying in your child are:

• Tell the child stories of great men like Gandhiji who believed that one should always be honest.
• Tell the child an instance of how someone suffered because another person was dishonest to him. You can consider telling her how your feelings were hurt when someone cheated you.
• If you know that your child is being dishonest and this is the first time, do not punish her. Also do not call her a liar. Talk to her gently when no one is around. If there is a way of correcting her mistake, make her do it. You can help her make the correction. This assures your child that you will help her if she is honest.
• Ask your child how she would feel if someone lied to her.
• Do not over-react to your child's dishonesty. This may tempt her to be untruthful once again.
• If your child appears to be lying because she remembers the incident only partly, try helping her out to recall what actually helped.
• Praise your child when you know she is speaking the truth.
• Make the atmosphere in your home a secure, safe and comfortable one for your toddler.
• Help the child understand the importance of saying the truth using language appropriate for her age. You can make her realise that although truth can be painful, it is better than a lie.
• Make the child understand that she will gain more respect and make more friends if she is honest.
• Help the child realise that being dishonest can break the trust between both of you. You can tell her the story of "The Boy Who Cried Wolf" as an example.
• Be consistent in your approach of instilling honesty in your child.
• Set yourself as an example for your child to follow.

Remember that teaching your child the art of honesty begins at home. As she grows older, she will appreciate you for helping her to develop this wonderful trait and making her understand that "Honesty is the best policy.".