Grandparents and Children Bonding

Grandparents are very often considered as a child's second parents. In India if both parents are working, leaving their children under the grandparents' care is a preferred option. This is mainly because grandparents can play a vital role in inculcating family values in their grand children. Remember your child may not take to his grandparents immediately. With love and patience, you can help her become attached to her grandparents. Once your child develops this bond with her grandparents, she will stay happier if grandparents are involved in her upbringing.

Tips to Help Your Child Bond with Grandparents

• If your child's grandparents are staying with you, leave your child under their care for a brief while whenever possible. This can be instances such as when you go shopping. It is a good idea for her to be alone with her grandparents for sometime. If her grandparents stay away from you but near your neighbourhood, make it a point to visit them often with your child.
• If the grandparents stay far away and it is not possible to visit often, use the telephone to call them up. Make sure your child talks to them too.
• If your child shows an active interest in art work, encourage her to make a special gift for her special grandparents.
• Get your child to share various activities with her grandparents such as gardening. She can help by watering a small flower pot. Reading is another activity that can help your child gel with her grandparents.
• Plan family outings with the grandparents often. This helps your child to meet them more often and also helps her feel comfortable in their company.
• Invite grandparents to participate in special events that are a part of your child's life. This could be a nursery rhyme competition in your colony or her birthday party.
• Grandparents can help your child develop a better vocabulary than toddlers who go to a daycare.
• You can ask your parents to pass on their hobbies or skills to the child. Early training helps her master the art with greater ease.
• Grandparents can make the child feel more safe and secure than a daycare or a baby sitter.
• Help the child draft a family tree with their grandparents. Encourage grandparents to tell the child interesting stories about different family members. You can also prepare a photo album with her parents and grandparents. Point out her grandparents often and tell her who they are.
• Do not allow your child to feel that she is doing her grandparents a favour by visiting them. Make her understand that her grandparents love her and will be happy to have her with them.
• Set yourself as an example. By showing your love and how much you care for your child's grandparents, she will follow your footsteps.
• Allow grandparents to correct any improper action performed by the child.
• Grandparents can be great listeners and can listen to your child's rattles for more time than her parents.
• Grandparents can help to mould your child's personalities and decision making capabilities.
• Grandparents can play the roles of mediators when the parents are frustrated or upset with the child especially after a long tiring day at work.
• When grandparents send gifts to your child, make sure she understands who sent them. Call them up and ask your child to thank them.

Factors to Consider when Entrusting the Child's Care to Grandparents

Some points to be considered when entrusting the child under the care of the grandparents are:

• Find out for yourself if the grandparents' health permit them to take care of the child without any restrictions. Remember you cannot take her grandparents for granted.
• If you are leaving your child in her grandparent's place rather than calling them over, talk to them about babyproofing their house. This is to ensure your baby's safety.
• Discuss with your or your partner's parents about who will be responsible for taking decisions about your child. This can help to eliminate family conflicts.
• Do not shout or raise your voice at the child's grandparents in front of her.
• Respect the grandparents' freedom. Taking care of the child can make them having to sacrifice their favourite activities. These can include catching up with friends or a visit to the temple.
• If you have a fixed set of rules that you want your child to follow, keep her grandparents informed about your expectations.
• Try and bridge the generation gap between grandparents and grandchildren.