Grandpa and Grandma live in Mommy’s laptop

"Wake up Amma. Thatha and paati will be here soon."

Kids have this uncanny way of knowing it's the weekend. It's almost like they don't want to waste a single minute of it staying silent or still or both. Which is probably why our pre-schooler who usually doesn't stir until 8 am on week days, is up at the crack of dawn on Saturdays. After a last ditch effort at keeping my eyes shut and pretending not to hear her or feel her tiny hands trying to shake me awake - I give in to the little imp and brace myself for the weekend.

"Good morning Sweets...what's up?" I offer groggily with half-hearted cheer. She reminds me. Ah yes, her date with her grandparents. The great weekly rendezvous. You see, every Saturday, my daughter spends anywhere from 30 minutes to 2 hours entertaining and being entertained by special visitors all the way from across the globe. And it's a ritual neither side likes to miss.

Years ago, when I left my parents behind in Chennai and traveled to the United States as a new bride, little did I know how my leaving would change their lives. I visualized them - a lonely couple - missing their daughter, hearing her voice everywhere, thinking of her stubbornness, the arguments she always won and feeling terrible about her absence. I thought they'd be sitting around looking at my baby pictures, sharing stories and crying on each other's shoulders, unable to express how much they missed me.

But to my disbelief, their reaction to my absence was totally different.

They actually snapped into action the day I left. They did something unimaginable - they entered my room - throwing caution to the wind and ignoring the rules. They even switched on my trusty old computer. Something neither of them had done too often in the past. A week after landing in the US, I was still finding my bearings, learning how to use the dishwasher. In the meantime, my mom and dad had created a hotmail account, downloaded the instant messenger program, got the system upgraded so it would support audio and video and added their next door neighbors and a few other assorted friends and relatives to their contact list.

I guess it was their way of dealing with the separation. They found a way to stay in touch with me and I'm proud that they overcame their inhibitions and went out of their way to do something that must have been overwhelming at the time. Today, of course, like many parents whose children live abroad, they're pros - especially my mom. There have been times when she's told me that my version of an IM program is outdated or that she found a shortcut to something or a new, really cool feature in another instant messaging program.

For a long time, chatting with me used to be the highlight of their day. And mine too. They'd sign in religiously at the same time everyday and we'd chat about pretty much everything under the sun from my latest recipe disasters to how their neighbor's son had eloped. Over the years, our chats became less frequent and shorter. We seemed to have exhausted all the "What else"s. By then, they had also made a couple of trips here and knew what my routine was like. They didn't have to ask everyday over Yahoo Messenger.

But, with the birth of our daughter M, things have changed again. They tell me that watching a grandchild grow up is the best joy there is. (And all this time I thought watching me was their greatest joy. Boy, can parents be blunt sometimes!) So, once again we're back to hours-long chats and video calls. Only this time, it's not about me.

Every Saturday, my daughter tells her grandparents about her daycare, her friends, the songs she's learned, the books we've read and the places she's been to. She delights them with stories about her imaginary friends and impresses them with her narration of whatever it is they want to hear. She even throws in a complaint or two against her parents, and implores her grandparents to chide us. And they in turn engage her with accounts of their days, the people they met and at her persistent demand, supply her with countless more stories.

It sure is a delight to watch these conversations. But, of course, things aren't always rosy. Some days, she's in a bad mood and won't talk to them. Sometimes, she insists on taking apart my only laptop for purely entertainment and educational purposes. And these scenes, as you can imagine aren't pretty.

But, the overall effect of these long distance meetings has been mostly positive. As it is, besides being labeled confused and mixed up, our kids have to accept a life that's pretty much cut off from their cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents and other relatives. Given that, it's wonderful that through these advances in telecommunications and technology, they can at least continue to connect with them, in some way. Living so far away from our families and home towns, we miss out on important family events and occasions. I didn't even get to go to my dad's 60th birthday. Of course, there is a price we pay for the choices we make and we have to accept that.

But to penalize our kids for our choices by keeping them away from doting grandparents and depriving them of the company of cousins and relatives doesn't seem right. And although, we can't entirely change that with a video chat, at least, these interactions give our children the opportunity to get to know their relatives and vice versa. It may not be the same as enjoying a bedtime story on grandma's lap or a walk around the neighborhood holding grandpa's hand. But, these weekly sessions help bridge the 10,000 mile gap to some extent. When I watch them talk for those few minutes on a Saturday morning, I somehow forget that they're sitting in rooms in different continents almost 12 hours apart.

I'm not sure my daughter comprehends the physical distance between her and her grandparents. She points to India on a globe and says that that's where they live. But, what she really cares about is that they come to visit her every Saturday and tell her stories and listen to her made-up songs. As far as she's concerned, "Grandpa and grandma live in Mommy's laptop", as I once heard her tell someone.

And that's probably what makes waking up at 6 am on a Saturday completely worth it.

About the Author

Rupa Raman is a freelance writer and full time mom trying to figure out how to raise a compassionate kid in a competitive world. When she's not writing, she's probably reading picture books, playing hide and seek or enjoying ridiculously silly activities with her daughter, M. Read her blog at http://babylovesbooks.com.