Things Men Can Do During and Soon After Pregnancy

Pregnancy is a life defining event for you and your wife. This phase of pregnancy and post-pregnancy can be a really trying period for your wife. As a loving husband, you look forward to staying by her and sharing her worries and anxieties. You make a resolution to face everything together and also share the responsibility of looking after the baby after he is born. After all, your wife does need some rest after those long months of pregnancy and further sleepless nights comforting your baby. Here are some ways you can prove yourself to be a supporting husband:

Before Delivery

• Find out a good gynaecologist for your partner's delivery.
• Learn the route to the hospital by heart well in advance before the delivery. This helps to avoid having to fumble your way through when you drive your wife to the hospital during labour.
• Let your wife know that you enjoy seeing the changes in her growing body. Take photographs to record memorable moments.
• As pregnancy advances, listen to your child's heart beat and kicks often by placing your ear over your partner's stomach.
• Your wife may encounter back pain, morning sickness, sleeping difficulties and many other concerns. Help her with her household chores and spend as much time as possible with her daily.
• Accompany her for all the prenatal visits to the gynaecologist. This will also help you understand the progress in pregnancy.
• Try to attend childbirth classes if there is one in your locality. This can help you gain an insight about the symptoms of labour and how to identify when your wife goes into labour. Providing emotional support at this stage can be very comforting. You can try to learn as much as possible about pregnancy, child birth and associated problems. These problems may be physical, psychological or emotional.
• Help your partner stay healthy during pregnancy. If this involves a change in her eating habits, you can join her.
• Encourage her to stay away from caffeine. You must also stop smoking.
• If you find her stressed, enroll her for some relaxation exercises. Remember that stress has an adverse effect on pregnancy.
• Take her for walks and spend time together. Sometimes the mere presence of the partner by her side to lend her a listening ear can bring great relief.
• When your partner is tired and has back pain, give her a soothing massage on her back. Also find ways how you can bring her relief from pain. This can be as simple as helping her to change positions.
• Your wife may not be in the mood for sex when she is expecting. Have an open discussion with her and try to understand her feelings.
• Sit with your partner and decide on a name for your baby.
• Do your share in getting the house ready for the new arrival.
• Assist your wife in shopping for baby's accessories.
• Have an open discussion with your wife about your financial position. Put aside a small amount every week towards the "baby fund".
• Remember to ask her repeatedly if she is comfortable. If not, ask her what you can do to help her feel comfortable.

After Delivery

• As soon as the baby is born, congratulate your partner on successfully becoming a mother. For first time mothers, stepping into motherhood can bring a sense of excitement.
• If your partner has had a caesarean delivery, she may be a bit upset if she had hoped for a natural delivery. Assure her that it is the safe delivery that is important and not the nature of delivery.
• Help her to come out of her postpartum blues or baby blues which are quite common soon after delivery. But if it becomes very severe and turns into postpartum depression, take her to a doctor.
• Help her with simple tasks such as changing diapers, hugging the baby and so on.
• Understand that breast milk is the best for your baby. Do not get upset that you are not able to feed her. You can join in when the baby starts taking formula or solid food. However if she prefers to bottle feed, you can contribute by taking the bottle over from your partner and giving her some rest.
• Obtain the baby's birth certificate.
• Include the baby's name in medical and insurance plans.
• Apply for the baby's passport if needed.
• Give your partner time to recover completely after delivery before you resume sex. This usually takes around 6 to 8 weeks time. You can ask her doctor on advice about this.

Remember to keep yourself involved as much as possible during and after the pregnancy. This will provide a better experience for your partner, baby and yourself.