Stranger Anxiety
Anxiety in babies is normal. They call parents' attention to the child's struggle. They generate support from parents at a time when babies require it desperately.
Fear of strangers is one of the first clearly recognisable signs of fear in infancy. The capacity to know the differences between strangers and parents is recognisable in a baby's behaviour as early as four to six weeks of age. Following is an account of differences in the behaviour and attitudes of babies towards their mother, their father and strangers.
| Age | Difference in behaviour and attitudes |
|---|---|
| One Month | Know their parents' faces, voices and attitudes. Babies demonstrate this with clear differences in their own responses. |
| Five Months | Want to keep their mother or father directly in sight. If failed, starts screaming. |
| Eight Months | Develop increased awareness of the actions of others and his own ability to react. Differentiate strangers at once. |
This spurt in eight months in stranger awareness is more serious. The baby will react when in strange places or even when a stranger passing by looks at him in the face. Even if he is in his mother's arms, he feels anxious. At such times, a parent must hold him close at first, until he is ready to be on his own, becoming more aware of new places and of new people.
| Age | Difference in behaviour and attitudes |
|---|---|
| Nine Months | Will still be sensitive to new experiences, but he will have learnt how to handle them. |
The baby watches and listens to people and objects in his environment with a new level of involvement. A wise parent will stay well in view in any strange situation at this age.
Baby 'Saran' (9 months) was increasingly upset when his parents left him in substitute care without preparation of the child, as he was still sensitive to new persons. With extra preparation and comforting when being left in substitute care, the child learnt how to handle certain strangers and strange situations.
| Age | Difference in behaviour and attitudes |
|---|---|
| At Twelve Months | Awareness of the importance of a baby's 'own' and familiar objects and of his personal space is present and crops up very often. |
| Second Year | All through, he will learn about the wider world as he learns to walk. He will both value and fear his new independence. His dependence on his parents will increase even as he learns to run away from them. |
At this age, the child will learn to trust. This will last him a life time. Parents or adults who respect his need to be fearful of new experiences help the child to overcome anxiety.
| Age | Difference in behaviour and attitudes |
|---|---|
| Third Year | The child will still be fearful as he walks with a new group of people and into new situations he is not used to. Learns how to handle himself in peer groups. |
The parents should tell the child how long he can cling to them and how they will help him get used to the the new situation. Prepare him ahead of time for what and whom he will meet and how long. Tell him honestly whether you will stay with him. If you are taking him to the playground to play with other children, he might cling on to you until he begins to identify one of them. Allow him then to join the one he prefers to and accepts.
Gradually, the child will learn to handle overwhelming situations - one step at a time in small peer groups. A regular play group of two or three children of the same age is one of the best insurances against developing anxiety and growing up too shy.
