Self Confidence in Children

Self confidence in children is a trait that they develop in their early years. The self confidence in children developed at this stage lasts a life time. There are various dimensions that contribute to building self confidence in children. All these dimensions contribute to making your child self-reliant and in turn make good achievements that result in self-satisfaction. The first and foremost condition in establishing these dimensions is to show your child unconditional love. These dimensions are illustrated in the diagram below.

Tips to build self confidence in children

• Help your child develop good self-esteem. This goes a long way in boosting your child's confidence levels.
• Foster a sense of self-discipline in your child. This helps in establishing self-control.
• Practise the Attachment Parenting principle. Attend to your child whenever he asks for something. This gives him an assurance that you are always there for him.
• Give due respect to your child's interests even if they do not appeal to you.
• Assist your child in developing a positive self-image for herself. Young children develop this, not from what she thinks about herself but from what she thinks others feel about her.
• Praise your child for a task well done along with positive feedback. Also explain to him why you approve of it.
• Encourage your child to try out new opportunities or experiences. He may not know how well he can do them as he has not done them before.
• Play with your child as much as you can. Not only will he enjoy it, but it will also make him feel that he is worth your time. Alow your child to initiate the play. Spending some time daily to play with your child can also help you analyse his behaviour.
• Do not compare your child with peers, siblings or other children. Each child is different.
• Listen to your child carefully without interruption. Make sure you understand what he is trying to tell you before you voice your views.
• Always use your child's name when you talk to her. You can tell him, “Hari, I like your drawing” instead of “That is a really good picture you have drawn.” Calling your child by his name makes him feel special.
• If you notice your child's talent for any specific activity, encourage him to work in it, improve and master the skill. Also if you notice a talent that he has not, encourage your child to explore it.
• When you do not approve something that your child has done, remember to criticise only the behaviour and not the child. Do not react to small mistakes.
• Be consistent in the rules that you set for your child. Avoid deviating from them unless they are unrealistic.
• Always laugh with your child and never laugh at her. While laughing with her can elevate her mood, laughing at her can have an adverse effect.
• If your child shows some fear that appears unreasonable to you, do not ignore it. Instead ask him to tell you what it is and help him find a way to get rid of it.
• Although you can allow your child to choose his friends, keep a close watch on the relationship he establishes with them. After your child plays with a friend, ask him to explain how he feels about himself.
• Monitor the influences of your child's surroundings on him such as his daycare, play school or regular school.
• Allow your child to grow at his own pace and do not rush him into mastering a new skill or task.
• Make your child aware that he can trust you at all times. Similarly you must also make him understand about your trust in him.
• Assign your child some simple chores to help you with. This can be as simple as carrying the plates to the dinner table.
• Allow your child to freely express his feelings verbally whenever he wants to. Do not restrict him from doing this. Giving him the freedom to express his feelings makes him feel important.

Although the above steps can help to develop self confidence in children, your child looks upon you as a role model. So, remember to set yourself as an example. If you have the problem yourself, work on overcoming it.