All parents want their children to be well respected in the society and also responsible members.Parents and children must work hand in hand to help the children develop
acceptable and reasonable behaviour. Good parent child relationships between parents and children form the key basis for helping you to develop an acceptable behaviour in your children.
How Parents and Children Can Work Towards Developing Acceptable Behaviour in Children
- Take time and effort to track down your child's problem behaviours that you want him to overcome. Examples of this can be thumb sucking, hitting others etc. Make sure that the behaviours are inappropriate for his age and development. When you have identified them, determine when they occur and if they follow a specific pattern.
- Set both short term and long term goals for yourself on how long you think it would take to help your child come out of the undesirable behaviour. Once you have set the goals, think of various alternatives to determine the best way to put the goals into practice.
- Once you have worked out the best management plan, explain it to your child. This helps him understand what is acceptable from him.
- Remember to be consistent when establishing routines or making requests.
- Understand your child's likes and dislikes. Let him follow his likes, whenever feasible.
- Explain family rules to children in short and clear sentences so that they understand them. Along with the rules, tell them about the consequences of repeatedly deviating from the rule. You must also provide descriptive praises for following the rule.
- Make your home child-friendly. Childproof her surroundings. This offers her opportunities to play, explore and discover the world around her.
- Do not resort to physical punishment. This kind of punishment does not work effectively and may even leave many emotional scars in your growing child.
- Nurture your child with lots of love and make the child aware of your love for her.
- Remain calm as you enforce discipline children. Children understand short and clear warnings given in a quiet and firm voice better than the warnings yelled at them.
- Giving your child choices or options help him gain some recognition and control.
- If your child is in the middle of an activity, do not interrupt him until he has finished it. If you must interrupt, give time and a warning. For example, you can tell the child "We have to leave the play yard after 5 minutes, start gathering your toys."
- Monitor your child's activities regularly. Asking him questions about his activities helps the child grow up more psychologically healthy than parents who gave up on their children.
- Opt to give your child suggestions instead of commands. Remember to include smiles, hugs or both with your requests. Such requests work better than criticism, threats or physical restraint.
- If your child is misbehaving because he is tired, move him to a quiet place. Sometimes children misbehave if they are in an over-stimulated environment for a long time or it is past their bed time.
- The IF and THEN limits help your child to control himself so long as you do not give in to his whines. Tell him “If you throw your toys, then I will give them to your friend.”.
- Maintain a positive attitude and tone while talking to your child.
- Before you implement the disciplining technique on your child, look at the problem from his perspective. This helps you keep your expectations realistic and also understand what behaviour your child is not yet capable of adapting to.
- To avoid conflicts, divert his attention to something he likes doing. For example, "Diya, stop playing in the water and come help me colour this picture."
- If your child does not respond to your request immediately, wait a few moments and give him some time to comply before telling him once again. Similarly, never scold him if he forgets to do a task that you expect him to remember.
- Depending on the situation, remove either yourself or the child from the scene of the problem.
- Help your child identify problems on his own and encourage him to find solutions on his own. This helps him in growing up to be a competent individual.
- Maintain a positive atmosphere in the house.
Praise the child for any good behaviour that he shows even if it is something that you expect of him. Do not take it for granted. Your praise will motivate him in repeating it.
Factors that contribute to the successful management of children may include security of attachment, learning of parents' behaviour in different contexts and the mutual responsiveness of the child.